Hair Story

     Grandmama tells me that when she was first married, she told Duke that when they could afford to have her hair done at a salon that she like have her hair done once a week. After the first year or two, that is exactly what she did. Every Saturday she would have her hair done so she would look great on Sunday.

     When she arrived at our home on the 14th of December, I tried to make an appointment but every hairdresser I knew was booked up solid for the Christmas festivities. In fact, I couldn't get an appointment until the New Year was over! 

      I realized how important this was to her when she looked at her Christmas pictures and said how ugly she was in all the pictures and how bad her hair looked. I was happy that she remembered some of the music and the family singing together and luckily I could 'blur' out some of her white root pictures.

     I knew Stacie Frost has done "old ladies" hair for years and they all walk away extremely happy. Stacie wasn't going to be back to work until the middle of January so I made an appointment at a walk-in Salon near our home. Beverly has a hard time leaning back to have her hair washed and so her back was a little damp. They gave her an old lady hairdo. Little barrel curls and bangs curled in front. Okay...so her hair was done....though I didn't really like it. Beverly was astonished that they charged $30 as she hasn't paid more than $20 for years. I told her she was in California and everything costs more here. The salon didn't want to take a check so she paid cash.

      We went back the next week with the same results, a damp back, an old lady hairdo, and with the complaint that they charge too much.

     Glory hallelujah we were able to see Stacie Frost the third week and have her hair colored, set and she walked out with a beautiful hairdo!! I took this picture, we both liked her hair.

Stacie Frost from Touch of Class with Beverly and her new do!

I watched Stacie use a blow dryer and a flat curling iron that she flipped the hair into curls with. Magic I cannot repeat. She did show me how to brush out the hair so it would look good on Sunday. That also worked.

     They only fly in the ointment is that Stacie works on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays as she has many family commitments on the weekends. Beverly wouldn't make another appointment as she wanted a Saturday appointment, and "she wasn't going to be here that long." 

     So I called on Tuesday the next week but all Stacie's appointments were booked up. Back we went to the former shop on Saturday, (though I did book Stacie for the following Wednesday). Oh my, what a fiasco that Saturday appointment was! 

     First, the lady drenched Beverly so badly she had to take off her soaking wet shirt and sweater set and wear her coat for the rest of the visit. Second, when the lady started to dry her hair, I asked that she blow dry it with a brush and use the curling iron. When I looked up from my book 15 minutes later, Beverly was under the hairdryer all in curlers. I was told her hair was too thin to use an iron with. Third, when we went to pay, there wasn't any discount due to the mishaps. Just the old lady hairdo to go home with. Beverly and I smiled with gritted teeth and decided that was the last time we would go there.

Coming home in only a coat with barrel curls

As she slowly pushed her walker up the sidewalk she asked how she had gotten wet in the rain. This is just after a short car ride where we discussed why we both were not happy with the service at that salon. Did I mention 50 first dates?

   

Two days after a great hairdo

    The next week after Wednesday's beautiful hairdo from Stacie Frost,  Beverly asked later that night if I'd wake her up for church the next day. I said sure.

     I have the next weeks booked for Thursdays at 2:30 pm with Stacie. Since Beverly hasn't been able to make it the last seven Sundays to church...I'm thinking Thursday for hair is just fine.

50 First Dates

      I hope you have all watched the movie, "50 First Dates" about a girl who had an accident and always woke up in the same day with no memory of the previous day. Imagine living that life. Yup just imagine that. Actually, I don't have it that rough - but I know what it feels like.

     Beverly, my mother-in-law is a wonderful talented woman who happens to be 92 years old. She leads music, accompanies, directs congregations, plays the piano and organ, led many choirs, taught piano to many children, and was an amazing cook.
    But now she needs help with her medications and help off the couch and kitchen chair and doesn't go anywhere without her walker or cane. She doesn't cook or do laundry and has a really hard time making the bed.

    Jeffrey and I are uniquely qualified to give the very best care at the very best time to his mother. Jeffrey and I are both at home during the day so we can trade-off care times with each other. No one has the burnt of the care with the other gone to work. We are (were) empty nesters without ongoing responsibility to other children. We are both healthy and young enough to be of optimal service. We both love Beverly and want the very best life for her. We came into this service after Janice and Greg broke the path into manageable parts - we did not have the angst thrust on us due to her fall. All the meds have been worked out, her ability and inabilities spelled out and two perspectives (Janice and Kim) of what Beverly needs. Perfect.
   Then there is the everyday reality. This amazing far-sighted astute woman doesn't remember last month or sometimes even the last hour depending on how much pain she has been in. Here is where I think I can be of the most help. She isn't my mother and I don't expect her to be anything other than an old lady. Her children keep expecting her to be their mom.

   So I think I will tell you stories about 50 first dates we enjoy regularly at the Adams house.

     The first story is the story I keep telling her. She planned a trip to Pajaro Dunes with all of her family. Kim (her daughter) made some really great plans to celebrate her 90th birthday. Neither one showed up. Both ended up in the hospital. Kindra (my niece, Kim's daughter) called her grandmother one day and drove two hours to get her help because she didn't answer the phone. Some little voice told her it was serious. After calling 911 they broke into her house to find her on the floor, then took her to the hospital. After her stay there and some physical therapy, she went home again. Months later the neighbor called Janice and Greg (Beverly's youngest son) to tell them newspapers were piling on the driveway that was unusual. When they got into the house she was on the floor. As best as can be determined she probably was there for two days. She went to the hospital again, physical therapy again and then went to Janice and Greg's home to live.

     When Beverly's four living children met together they determined that Beverly was incapable of living alone and each took an assignment for her care. Janice and Greg took the lion's share by taking her to doctors, therapy appointments, and figuring out what she could and couldn't do on her own. They had her for a year, then asked if the other children could take her for a month. Beverly stayed with Kim for November and in December she came to our home. We didn't purchase a return flight as we expected our turn was now. Maybe we will trade off with Kim every few months. Maybe we will keep her awhile. Mike (Beverly's oldest son) home is not conducive for elderly walkthroughs and Carol is fighting some health issues of her own.
     Beverly remembers none of it. She does remember sliding down by the ironing board but not why. She feels she is fully ready to fly back to her home and take care of herself. So I tell stories and let her know that we NEVER want her to lay on a floor for two days without someone knowing.
She does remember visits when I show her pictures and remind her of what happened on a given day, but she doesn't have any chronology settings.

     If she is in pain, overwhelmed, or very tired, she will not remember that hour or day. She loves people to visit and talk with but can't handle a house filled with crying babies, loud games and noise, and too many conversations. At Christmas time we had two days with the house bursting at the seams. It was not a good time for Beverly. The times when a few couples come to visit, sing, play the violin, or have dinner are times she remembers - especially with a picture.

Beverly and Debbie playing a duet a few days after Christmas - a good memory