Vulnerability

 A few nights ago, I listened to the wind and storm outside of my open window. An image of a couple living under the underpass in Quezon City came my mind. They were vulnerable to the storm with only the meager shelter they could find behind the pillars and road above.  In contrast, I was so grateful to be in a warm sturdy home with electricity, running water and a nice snug bed for the night. I started thanking the Lord for the many, many blessings that I enjoy.

I am developing new depths of gratefulness as I journey along in my healing process. The first time I walked around a short block, I felt like a I was faking confidence. I felt if I fell down that I would somehow be a target. I tried to walk slowly but with my head held high - which was difficult as I kept watching the sidewalk so I wouldn't trip and fall over a rise or deep crack in the cement. I do have some nice neighbors and some I do not know. I'm not sure why I was anxious as I walked. Maybe because I wasn't sure how far I could go. My gratitude comes from feeling better and better each day. I am more aware at this time how intricate our bodies are and how amazing it is that they will heal seemingly on their own. 

The first time I took Makynlee on a walk, I prayed very hard that she would not run ahead or out into the street because I was not in a good position to run after her. I kept her entertained by asking questions about the things I could see in different yards. It worked. We got home without any extra adventures. I do not like not being unable to run, walk, and lift like I could a month ago. Even coughing or laughing is still difficult. I do have to let some things slip. I have to have patience and do all I can do. (I hate waiting)

 I am so grateful for a loving God who helps me prioritize and gives me the opportunity to rise to challenges. 

Thank you, thank you Heavenly Father for giving me this life, loves, opportunities and challenges, and for letting me have so many, many blessings. One of which is a body that is healing well and becoming more capable. 

That being said, I can't wait to walk a mile with a real lift of my head and confidence to move ahead. I want to rip the bullseye off my back.

The House is Empty

Viewpoint

 Rachel is headed out to Idaho and Utah for the weekend, so I woke up at 3 am in the morning and the cars were home, when I woke up at 6:30 am all the cars were gone. Julia and the girls are in Fresno for their grandmother and great-grandmother's birthday. Michael went to work. Nobody is here. 

I told Jeffrey everyone had left. He said, "Hey look we have the house to ourselves!" I just frowned at the empty rooms. The big difference between an extrovert and an introvert.

But everything is okay because by Sunday night everyone will be back home again! I feel better and better every day and hope to be at full strength in just a few weeks. 

More Friends moving

Laura Nausin, Kim Kruse, Rosanne Nieto, me, and LaVerla Penny

The Parkin's left, Lisa Lambert died, Capener's are gone, Lambertson's are gone, and now Rosanne is the newest move-out. She is going through chemotherapy and will be nearer to her son, which is good. But my circle of friends is changing again. Of course Jeffrey and I have been in the Cambodian branch for about 16 months so I probably wouldn't recognize a major portion of the ward and my neighborhood anyway. I have a few really good friends who are still around - so far!

Good thing I know how to make friends. I am going to need some more.

Home Again, Home Again, jiggity jig

 

Flowers from Kim Kruse

Home recovering from Surgery

This really has been my year. I have had two COVID tests (which never says negative it always says it is not present as this time), and multiple doctor and lab visits and this visit to the hospital should be the end of it all - baring 2 follow up visits.

Interesting thing to note is if you have a surgery where they put a breathing tube down your throat, it is really nice to chew gum afterwards as it seems to do two things. One it helps clear your head a little and two it helps with the cottony dry mouth.

I have been having a tough time with the intimacy issues of feeling exposed to the world so I haven't advertised why I am hobbling around the house and trying desperately not to cough. 

Both surgeons said, "Everything went well." I am starting to understand that means, "fine." When I feel off or good I can say, "I'm fine." One of those universal okay that has a wide range meaning to it.  The surgery could not have gone really well as I have 5 perforated like stitches in a line across my belly when I was told I would have three, the surgeries went hours longer than was expected, and each of my milestone recovery points are hours and days slower than what I was told to look for. But the great news is everything is ok, the Lord is enabling me to get better slowly but surely and His grace is making sure I don't have complications or setbacks. Everything keeps moving along in an orderly course. I just need to do my part and keep walking around the house.

Really, I have NO doctor plans except maybe dental visits for the next five years.

Faster Answers?

 Michael and I were discussing how answers to prayers seem to come more quickly than in the past. I think he is right as I remember waiting more when I was younger. Michael needed some kind of strong glue for his car key as the tall skinny part (shaft?) keeps falling off the fob. I don't know where my glue gun is - and really would that glue metal together? I think not. So he went out into the garage and started looking around and said a prayer that he could find what he needed. He said he picked up a box at random and right there was an old package of epoxy that indicated on the directions that it could glue metal, plastic, wood etc. He glued up his key at the kitchen table then apologized for breaking open the epoxy as it was so old the first part of it didn't work. It became a one-use job. I told him that was ok, that the package was probably intended just for him. God many times has the answer lined up for us in advance before we think to ask for answers to a problem.

I can't remember what this picture was. It looks like some kind of problem to solve.