Babies and reality

It was one of those awkward situations where I almost blurted out my thoughts on some grim sights when I noted the young woman with Jonah put her hand protectively over her unborn baby. I changed  mid-thought and immediately spoke about the good part of going to the maternity wards in the hospital, how happy the mothers were to have their babies though tired.

Roma (on right) visited the temple for the first time with Jonah and her good friend who is expecting a baby

The reality was far more sobering, enlightening and ultimately life changing for me.
Sister Stroud asked the missionaries to come with them on their humanitarian project to give out newborn kits to those in the maternity wards of the hospital. The rows are narrow so each person carries a bag with kits to give out, so many hands are needed.
This is a charity hospital and will serve a meal if the relatives don't bring the patients food - but it is only life sustaining. We sang carols at the top of largest room and then wound our way down between the beds to hand out kits to every bed. Each bed had three and most of the time four women who were sharing. Most sat on the bed, some curled around the foot of the bed beside their baby and some sat on a chair and laid their head on the bed. The most heartbreaking was asking a lady if she had a boy or girl and she would answer, "It didn't make it." We had a small teddy bear to give to those women with a heartfelt, "I'm sorry."
I didn't bring a camera as it would not be allowed in the United States because of privacy issues. I guess there are no issues of privacy in the Philippines.

The beds lined the wall and the missionaries walked down the centre giving out little bags

Sister Stroud is bending down talking to patients,  Sister Bowen is reaching in her bag to get more kits

The long hall with charity beds

This is the room where the babies with problems are taken care of. The mothers tend their babies sitting in plastic chairs. There is no space to lay down.

This is the email I sent my family after visiting:

"My mind and heart got an awakening and new paradigm shift when I went to the hospital to visit the newborns. Right now all I have are feelings that I'm having a hard time writing down in words. The reality here is just different than anything I have experienced and so I'm having trouble describing this reality. 

The inadequate words are the fact that three or four women share a bed after giving birth. They sit, curl, or sit on a plastic chair with their head on the bed next to their child. Survival is at its most grim and the truth is a percentage of these babies will be abandoned. Many are well loved and will still die. The lucky ones will go home with a mama to a room that is the family home, or back to the street, bridge, or side of the road.  When I went to the NICU I saw a baby that would fit in the palm of my hand. The equipment is probably in the fifties with one or two modern pieces and though I put on a gown, slippers and a hair net, babies with different difficulties are still all in the same room. There are not enough incubators.

The paying rooms have one or two mothers to a bed. They lay curled around their baby on one side at the bottom and the other mother is at the top of the bed and down the other side. Visitors sit on plastic yard chairs or stand. The wall at one time were painted in vivid colours and some whimsical motifs, now they look tired, just like all the mamas. In this hospital they are given a meal if their family doesn't provide one. In the other hospital visitors need to come with food or the patient goes without. As we walked down the corridor, ten or twelve more mama's who just delivered were being pushed in wheelchairs down to the long ward to squish onto another bed to recover. If the baby 'didn't make it' the mom gets to sit on a bed surrounded by all the other mother's with babies until she feels good enough to go home. No one acted like this was odd. There was just a quite acceptance of life as it is.I have been more comfortable at the Ranch camping out, than I saw and experienced last Friday. When we went home I noted and really understood that the people on the street, under the bridges and sitting on the side of the road - live there. I'm grappling with a reality that has always been there. But now I can see."

My mind keeps thinking back to a time I dropped off Rachel's friend in the middle of Concord. The mom and grandmother obviously lived in the living room but I didn't think anything other than they probably were painting or fixing up the bedrooms. The people I see living on the side of the street I would chalk up to transients, mental illness, or choice. In my mind they were always going somewhere. After being in the Philippines the knowledge drifting in my mind is now a reality. I see and feel differently about reality, the grim hard facts of poverty and helplessness. My convictions of generosity have changed also. I cannot help everyone but I can and will help all who come within my circle. Who knows when I'll be on the other end.