An instance occurred that has me wondering if I have hurt someone's feelings when I try to console or comfort. My daughter-in-law has been at several pool parties and her miscarriage has come up in conversation almost every time. No one knows what is going on behind her closed doors as she is invariably smiling. But it was the comment by one comparing her experience with Julia's saying that she "wanted to have a baby", probably meaning she was trying to get pregnant versus Julia's IUD. Why is her loss and suffering more? All babies come from God and Julia and Michael were definitely grateful and happy to embrace and enjoy their new son that was such a miracle. So why the assumption that their suffering was less than those who were planning ahead?
I can't help but think of the advertisement with the lady holding a smiling face while she is stone face or frowning going about her day. I think that describes Julia exactly. I am trying to think about the times I jump in to help and wondering if I am irritating and unhelpful in my zeal to comfort. I probably don't know anything about their home life and what is really happening as I only have my assumptions. I am going to try to do much better and not be one of those who rub a little salt in wounds already given. How exactly is the question......
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